"Little Prairie On The House: Introspective and Philosophical yet Politically Correct and Culturally Accurate View Of Australia In Hindsight In Non-Convoluted English"
After reading that the judge, Jeremy Lazell had slept in a hammock high up in an exotic Borneo rainforest and rafted from, I don't know, a maximum security prison? I almost gave up entering this competition. The judge was obviously Rambo on steroids, travelling to the far corners of the Earth doing unnecessarily perilous and ball-breaking stunts; and I was a nobody with sleep-worthy adventures. Still, a 750 word recital of my adventures in Australia was in session.
Despite my allergies to mud and nature, I landed safely in the Outback. It was so cold that I almost flew back to Singapore, but alas my friend stopped me. Now I'll always have good memories of exotic creatures such as Kangaroos, Cowboys and Vegemite. We stayed in a seedy looking hotel with limited amenities. I can only imagine at that very same second, Jeremy was running away from cannibals in the Venezuelan rainforest and later succeeded in converting them to Christianity. I wonder if I am making full use of my life.
It was the third day of my stay in Australia and I was stoked to be visiting an animal farm. I told myself not to hug koalas or buy key chains like kitsch tourists, and we ended up doing exactly that. The lush strawberry fields near the farm was covered with sparkling dewdrops and filled with the distinctive aroma of fresh honeydew. The grass gently caressed my feet, beseeching me to stay a little long. I started hearing "Here Comes The Sun" by the Beatles in the background, with a distant trotting beating in rhythm to the song. Mud splattered everywhere, but I was too enthralled by the horses to notice. I was beginning to realize that my concrete jungle stood no chance against this natural environment. Suddenly, a flash of sea blue and seashell white - a seagull circling the fish and chips I was holding. Oh my god! I panicked. Seagulls were stalking me everywhere like I was prey. I swear I saw one for them throw me a look of pure evil. Surrounded, I threw my chips skyward and frenzied seagulls darted everywhere. Why, if those little twerps were in Singapore they would've gotten the death penalty!
Despite the Attack of the Killer Seagulls, it was a truly beautiful day. We patted kangaroos, chased wild deer, fed baby bunnies and plucked glistening fresh fruit from the trees. Soon it was time for the roast. We sat around a campfire with dancing gypsy flames, roasting marshmallows and flavorful meat. By nightfall, it was time to go. I sleepily get on the bus, my head spinning with nothing but happy memories.