Fancy seven days stretched out on a powder white beach with crystal clear waters lapping at your feet? For some this sounds like heaven (especially if the scenario involves a cocktail) but for others this is the very epitomy of a holiday nightmare. Which camp do you belong to?
Catching way too much sun. If you are one of us unlucky fair skinned people, then beach vacations are definitely not the best choice for you. There is nothing fun about sitting amongst others who are all tanning beautifully and evenly while you are turning pinker as the day goes on. There are so many better ways to spend a holiday, that won’t leave you in pain and looking like a lobster!
Sand gets everywhere. Not only is it extremely hot to sit or walk on with bare skin, but the stuff gets into your shoes, sticks to your skin and if it gets into your camera or phone they are pretty much done for.
The constant stream of beach vendors. Aside from those picture-perfect beach scenes in travel brochures (where are they shot anyway?) most beaches are a constant frenzy of selling, bartering and generally hiding from those persistent sunbed vendors. And if you end up in tackyville-on-sea you’ll be overwhelmed with gaudy hotels, tacky gift shops and smelly food stands.
Squeezing into that swimsuit/bikini/shorts. Many of us don’t find swimwear the most flattering outfit to wear in public. Even worse is the fact that the other beach goers don’t seem to observe basic decency laws. If you can stop pulling and tugging at your own suit long enough to look around, you may get a real eye full.
Dead decaying fish waterside. If you are skittish about coming across the occasionally washed up fish, the beach may not be the best place to spend your holiday. Fish, both dead and alive, along with jelly fish are pretty common to see when walking along the shore and paddling your toes.
Children children everywhere. The brochures paint an oh-so tranquil setting where adults can chill out after months of relentless work. The law of the land says that once your ass hits the sunbed hoards of loud squealing children issue forth, running, splashing and throwing sand everywhere. You could plump for a nudist beach but then you’ll face the previous point ten-fold!
B-o-r-i-n-g. The beach is not the greatest vacation spot if you are looking to be entertained. Yes you can sit and watch the sunrise and sunset and there is non-stop swimming on tap (unless the flag is up) but otherwise eating a hotdog, snoozing and reading is about as exciting as it gets. Unless there is a beach volleyball try-out going on locally…
By Julie Bowman